I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 1: 23, 24
The apostle Paul was torn between life and death. For him, to go on living in this world is to labour fruitfully for Christ, but to die and be with Christ is far better.
On one hand, he had all the reasons to live and to enjoy a meaningful and prestigious life in this world. He was a true Jew, born into a respectable family, of the tribe of Benjamin, a "Hebrew of Hebrews". He was highly educated, a practising Pharisee who persecuted the Christian church with great zeal. And no one could find fault with him with regards to keeping the Mosaic Law. Therefore, he said of himself,
If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more. 3: 4b
Yet, on the other hand, after he became a Christian, the apostle Paul realised "the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ" (3: 8). Twice in 3:7-8, he stated that he considered all his accomplishments as "loss" for the sake of the Lord.
I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 3: 8
So what was Paul's conclusion? He wrote in 1: 24, ". . . but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body."
Dear Christian, let us emulate the apostle in choosing between life and death. Let us say together with him, "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2: 20 NKJV